Apparently, I have not purchased enough pink ribbon items over the last few years so I have to work a little harder during my current journey. Hold that thought. I KNOW that I have it so much easier than most breast cancer patients and I am one of the lucky ones and am so very thankful.
I am just annoyed.
I had a mammogram on Wednesday (and a very big thank you to my technician who was extra gentle to my very tender self) and the damn missing clip was found. One would think, “OH, you found something that was missing. Yay!” But, no. The biopsy clip must come out. Normally, it is removed as a part of the surgery in the tumor. I think it just liked me and wanted to stay so it hid. My Dr. says no, it has to come out. All this means that I go back in next Wednesday, 2/27 to have it removed. It will be a much easier surgery, 30 minutes and they don’t even use general anesthesia, instead using the stuff which makes you fall asleep like when you have your wisdom teeth out. I am a little nervous about this, but she promises that I won’t be awake and won’t remember anything.
I should be up and around much quicker since I won’t have the anesthesia in my system which took days of sleeping last time to wear off. The same incision can also be used. I will be tender and will need time to heal, but the worst part of the last surgery was the underarm area where the lymph nodes were removed and that does not need to be done again. This time, I also have a good idea of what to expect so I am much less nervous at the whole thing.
The great news is that both the MRI and mammogram post surgery showed no cancer. It sure would be nice to be moving on to the next steps, either radiation then tamoxifen or just the tamoxifen. Not sure yet on which, but they do not decide that until after all surgery is completed.
Most days, other than still being tender, I don’t even think that I am a cancer patient. I run around after Jackson, enjoy time with Nate, my friends and family and rest of the kids. Some days it hits me that I AM UNDERGOING BREAST CANCER TREATMENT. It is so wrong and freaks me out. I cry a little, then go back to making dinner and my regular life. Other than too many Dr. appointments, missing exercise class and the medical bills (thank god for insurance!) our life is pretty much the same. But it truly will never be the same. I will always be a cancer survivor, all of you will have to support my breast cancer walks and I will probably have a lot more pink ribbons around the house, on my clothes and anywhere else I can. But I am here and will live a long and wonderful life and I am very thankful for that and all of you.